10 Signs She Is Pretending To Love You: Wake-Up Call

Introduction

Have you ever felt like something’s off in your relationship, but you can’t quite put your finger on it? You know, that nagging feeling that maybe her “I love you” doesn’t quite hit the same way it used to? You’re not by yourself. Knowing the signs she is pretending to love you can help you avoid emotional pain and recognize the reality before it’s too late.

A 2022 study by Psychology Today found that 30% of people say they stay in relationships even when they think their partner doesn’t truly love them. Yikes, right? Fake love can be hard to spot, but once you know the warning signs, you’ll notice them all around you.

In this article, we’ll dive into 10 telltale signs she’s faking it, from subtle hints to glaring red flags she’s faking love. Whether it’s emotional manipulation, lack of intimacy, or just plain fake love signs, we’ve got you covered. Let’s get real—your heart deserves better.

10 Signs She Is Pretending To Love You

1. Her Actions Don’t Match Her Words

“Actions speak louder than words,” as the phrase goes. This couldn’t be more true when it comes to love. An important red flag that she’s faking love is if she says “I love you” all the time but doesn’t show it. For instance, she might avoid spending valuable time with you, abruptly change her plans, or appear uninterested in your life.

“Love is not what you say; it’s what you do,” as the saying goes. If her words and deeds don’t match up, it’s time to take a closer look. Relationships Australia surveyed in 2021 and found that 45% of people feel their partner’s deeds don’t match up with their words. That’s almost half of all relationships that have this problem!

You may want to read: How to Build Trust in a Long Distance Relationship: Rekindling Faith

2. She Avoids Deep Emotional Conversations

Emotional intimacy is what makes real love grow. If she’s pretending to love you, she probably won’t want to talk about deep things. She might change the subject, give you unclear answers, or even shut down completely when you try to talk about how you feel or the future of your relationship.

Emotional unavailability like this is a big red flag. The Gottman Institute says that it is a major cause of relationship dissatisfaction for 40% of partners. If she doesn’t want to put herself out there and connect more deeply, it could be a sign of fake love.

You may want to read: Crushing Reality: Does He Love the Girl He Cheated On Me With

3. She’s Only Around When It’s Convenient

Let’s be real—love isn’t a one-way street. If she only shows up when it suits her, that’s one of the clear signs she is pretending to love you. She may show interest in you when she needs a favor, a ride, or a conversation partner, but she may be too preoccupied to help when you need it.

This kind of one-sided effort is exhausting and unfair. A Pew Research Center study found that 25% of breakups in the US are due to one-sided relationships. If she’s not doing anything for you, you should ask yourself, Is her love real or fake?

You may want to read: Love vs. Lust: Why Do Guys Cheat on Their Pretty Girlfriends

4. She Doesn’t Support Your Goals

A person who really loves you will always be there for you. If she downplays your goals, ignores your accomplishments, or acts like she doesn’t care about your dreams, it’s a sign she’s not invested in the relationship. For instance, if you’re enthusiastic about a new job or a raise and she appears uninterested, it’s a warning sign.

As the saying goes, “A partner who loves you will always root for your success.” When you love someone, you celebrate their wins and push them to grow. But if she doesn’t do that, you might want to ask yourself if she’s pretending to love you or if her feelings are real.

You may want to read: 8 Revealing Signs of a Woman With Trust Issues: Exposed

5. She’s Overly Critical or Controlling

Love should lift you, not tear you down. When someone constantly criticizes your choices, looks, or habits, it’s a sign of emotional manipulation. Even worse, if she tries to force you to make choices or cut you off from family and friends, it’s a clear indication that she’s faking love.

Some things she might do are pick at everything you do or tell you you’re never good enough. Verywell Mind says that emotional manipulation is present in 35% of toxic relationships. It’s time to take a step back and think about whether her love is real or if her actions seem more controlling than loving.

You may want to read: How To Make a New Happy Love Story Beyond His Ex’s Shadow

6. She’s Secretive or Avoids Commitment

Trust and openness are important for real love. If she keeps her life a secret, doesn’t introduce you to her friends or family, or doesn’t talk about making a promise, it’s a sign she’s pretending to love you. Some of the things she might do are lock her phone, avoid making plans for the future, or give unclear answers about where she is.

Commitment is the key to a healthy relationship. Avoiding it is a big red flag. The American Psychological Association (APA) says that commitment avoidance is a leading predictor of relationship failure. If she’s not ready to put all of herself into the relationship, you should ask yourself, is her love real or fake?

You may want to read: Love in the Aftermath: Conquering Trust Issues from Her Past

7. She’s Only Interested in Material Benefits

Let’s face it: love shouldn’t cost anything. If she only shows care when you buy her gifts, pay for expensive dates, or help her out financially, she’s pretending to love you. Fake love occurs when a relationship feels more like a business deal than an emotional one. This behavior is a classic example.

For example, she might give you lots of care after a shopping trip but stop when the bags are closed. CNBC says that 20% of people admit to staying in relationships for financial security. If her love seems to depend on what you can give her, you should start to doubt her motives.

You may want to read: My Girlfriend Has a Guy Friend Who Likes Her: Love Triangle

8. She’s Emotionally Distant

The most important thing in any friendship is an emotional connection. It’s a sign of insincere love if she’s always cold, unresponsive, or uninterested in how you feel. For instance, she might not show affection very often, avoid touching you, or act like she doesn’t care about your emotional health.

As the saying goes, “Emotional distance is the silent killer of relationships.” It’s hard to fill the void left by someone who is mentally distant. If you’re feeling more like roommates than partners, it’s worth asking: Is her love real or fake?

You may want to read: Is Your Love Real? Signs He Is Forcing Himself to Love You

9. She’s Flirtatious with Others

Respect is a non-negotiable in any loving relationship. It’s a clear sign she’s acting to love you if she flirts too much with other people, especially in front of you. If someone acts like this, it means they don’t care about your feelings or the connection. To give you an example, she might laugh too hard at someone else’s jokes or write other people too much.

The Institute for Family Studies says that cheating is the main reason why relationships end, hurting 25% of all relationships. While it’s not always true that flirting leads to cheating, it’s a warning sign that she’s not fully committed to you and is displaying fake love.

You may want to read: Trusting God’s Plan: Signs God Wants You to Be Single Forever

10. You Feel Unappreciated and Unloved

Sometimes, your gut is right. It’s a sign that she’s acting to love you if you feel ignored, undervalued, or like an afterthought in the relationship all the time. You don’t feel like you’re fighting for attention when you’re in love. Instead, you feel loved and important.

For example, if your efforts are ignored or your needs are ignored over and over again, it’s time to pay attention to that voice inside you. What HuffPost says is that 70% of people who felt unappreciated in their relationships ended up breaking up. If you’re feeling unloved, it’s a strong indicator that her feelings might not be genuine.

You may want to read: How to Identify the Signs of Dishonesty in a Relationship

What to Do If You Spot These Signs

So, you’ve noticed some of these fake love signs in your relationship—now what? It’s time to do something, whether that means leaving the relationship or working on it. Here’s how to handle it:

1. Reflect on Your Feelings

Before you make assumptions, consider what happened. Ask yourself, “Do I feel loved and important in this relationship?” Most of the time, your gut is the best way to tell what’s really going on. If it feels off, something is likely wrong.

You may want to read: Simple Trust: How to Break Down the Walls in a Relationship

2. Have an Honest Conversation

Communication is very important. Sit down with her and tell her what’s bothering you without accusing her. Say things that start with “I,” like “I feel unappreciated when…” or “I’ve noticed we don’t spend as much quality time together.” That means you can have an open and honest talk about where you both stand.

3. Set Boundaries

If her behavior is toxic or manipulative, it’s time to set clear boundaries. Make it clear to her what you won’t stand for. For instance, if she flirts too much with other people, tell her how that makes you feel and what you need from her to trust you again.

4. Seek Professional Help

Love alone isn’t always enough to fix a relationship that’s gone bad. You might want to try couples therapy if you’re both ready to work on things. American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, couples who seek counseling have a 75% higher chance of resolving relationship issues. A professional can help you figure out how to save your relationship and deal with its problems.

5. Know When to Walk Away

Have you tried everything and still feel unloved or unappreciated? It might be time to move on. Staying in a relationship where love is fake or only goes one way prolongs the pain. Don’t forget that you deserve someone who loves and cares for you.

Taking these steps can help you rebuild a stronger connection or find the courage to walk away. In either case, you’re putting your mental health first, which is what matters most.

Conclusion

Recognizing the signs she is pretending to love you can be tough, but it’s a crucial step toward protecting your emotional well-being. If her actions don’t align with her words or if she doesn’t feel loved and appreciated, these warning signs should prompt you to reconsider the relationship.

Love should make you feel valued, supported, and cherished—not confused, drained, or unimportant. If you notice these signs of fake love, trust your intuition and take action. Whether that means having an honest talk, getting help, or leaving, remember that you deserve real love based on honesty, respect, and cooperation.

As the saying goes, “Real love is built on honesty, respect, and mutual effort—don’t settle for anything less.” Don’t be afraid to put your happiness and mental health first. You deserve a love that is just as real as you are, after all.

Frequently Asked Questions