10 Warning Signs She is Sabotaging Your Relationship

Before I tell you about the warning signs she is sabotaging your relationship, there’s a big question mark in your mind. Most likely, you’re thinking why she’s doing it. It might be frustrating when you put all into a relationship, and she continually sabotages it. Everything is going well—except when it’s not—and she seems your perfect partner. In relationships, women frequently engage in undesirable conduct. Without further hemming and hawing, she may utterly ruin everything in many ways.

Why She is Sabotaging Your Relationship

Signs She is Sabotaging Your Relationship
Signs She is Sabotaging Your Relationship

All men want intimacy. Finding the ideal woman to spend the rest of your life with takes time. Only one thing stands in your way once you believe you have a keeper. The fact that every small detail matters in relationships is one risky trait.

Ridiculous demands, broken promises, and unacknowledged requests. Undoubtedly, everyone makes mistakes; nobody is flawless. And compromises are a big part of relationships. So we dismiss them and carry on.

It’s not just you. If you’re seeing a new woman, and everything seems to be going well, you could wonder why she keeps messing everything up or you are always fighting.

She’s let it be known that she approves of you. She might even say something shocking when the two of you are by yourself. She keeps making mistakes, though, to the point that it appears she is doing so on purpose.

You must first realize that she is unaware of what she is doing in this situation. People self-destruct their relationships without even realizing it. She is just as much a victim in this situation as you.

You can overcome your guilt and resentment by understanding that she isn’t trying to ruin things. There is no reason to be angry with her because the actual cause of her sabotaging behavior is much more profound. Though she lacks the skills, she wants the relationship to work.

Researchers have investigated self-destructive behavior in relationships. One of the most exciting discoveries made by the experts is that those who sabotage themselves do so in an attempt to protect themselves.

In other words, she is sabotaging the relationship to save herself from the unbearable pain. That can sound unhelpful, but remember that everything here happens subconsciously.

Signs She is Sabotaging Your Relationship
Signs She is Sabotaging Your Relationship

Warning Signs She is Sabotaging Your Relationship

When a girl starts to self-sabotage, it is not always malicious or intentional. It’s often a reaction to fear and insecurity.

Have you ever questioned the hardship of your relationship?

Perhaps it’s not about you. You’ll never be able to relax if she’s sabotaging your relationship. Every other day, you’ll clash, quarrel, and fall out. That isn’t typical.

You won’t need to keep fighting when a relationship is flourishing or you have discovered the kind of connection you deserve. Do you think she’s the most toxic person here?

Men are frequently brainwashed to think we are the issue. Women are pure, and they understand how relationships function. Men ruin things by being arrogant and getting into extramarital affairs. Deprogram that messaging immediately. Flip the story around and examine the facts.

She is the problem, not you if she uses the following approaches. Knowing the warning signs will help you move forward together or individually.

1- She Carries Grudges Over Little Matters and Initiates Arguments

People in good health can let things go. She might not be able to, though, if she is unstable or is still dealing with trauma from the past. Women who struggle with identity and emotions may vent their frustrations on others close to them. That includes you.

Consider a scenario where you cannot agree on a movie to watch. She requests a Marvel movie, but you can watch the most recent Stephen King adaptation. Before you know it, there is a powerful argument in front of everyone waiting to enter the theatre.

She is yelling at you and anyone who will listen about how you always get what you want. Fortunately, you can calm things down and decide on a compromise. She won’t let the fight end even though you’re at ease and are moving on to fetch some popcorn.

For the duration of the film, she huffs and puffs. She won’t hold your hand and is agitated and unhappy. She is evasive and won’t answer your questions when you try to find out what’s wrong. She finally admits that she’s still angry after you repeatedly inquire. On the way home, the two of you have a heated disagreement in the car, and she pouts all night.

You are suffering due to this woman’s inability to control her feelings. It almost seems she is trying to see how much of her BS you can take before leaving.

2- She acts as if She does not want an Exclusive Relationship

Although she claims she isn’t ready for commitment, she spends much time with you. However, she presents you to her family, friends, and coworkers despite her claim that she doesn’t desire anything serious. She claims she doesn’t want a long-term relationship, but you make long-term plans and go on trips together.

It is challenging to judge this. On the one hand, ladies who aren’t entirely serious about a guy behave this way. On the other hand, it’s typical for women who are unsure of a man’s commitment to act this way until he explicitly states that he is there to stay.

Checking whether she wants to see other people is a simple way to determine her interest level. If not, she might simply be waiting for your promise.

Signs She is Sabotaging Your Relationship
Signs She is Sabotaging Your Relationship

3- Regularly Puts Your Commitment or Interest in Her to the Test

She requires confirmation that you “really like her” all the time. She wants you to show it to her with your words or deeds. She might start acting dominatingly and prevent you from seeing your friends. She can claim that your reluctance to prove your devotion proves that you aren’t sincere.

4- She Put You in Uncomfortable Situations

She destroys your health if she doesn’t consider your needs when doing activities together. Suppose she puts your needs first, knowing some situations and actions make you extremely uneasy. She is still willing to take the opportunity to do what you want to. 

Even though she knows a problem will cause you to experience acute anxiety or a panic attack. You shouldn’t be required to attend if you experience social anxiety and dislike attending crowded events. If she constantly puts pressure on you, that is unfair.

5- A Lack of Trust

Trust issues are a widespread way for women to undermine their relationships. The dread of losing you fuels her lack of trust, which causes her to be paranoid.

It might involve possessiveness, excessive control, and jealousy. Even though such behavior could appear innocent, it results from unpleasant past events.

The issue is that a woman’s actions make you feel stuck and helpless when she fears you leaving. That could easily reach a point where you feel uncomfortable and go.

Signs She is Sabotaging Your Relationship
Signs She is Sabotaging Your Relationship

6- When You Make a Mistake, Quick to Criticize You

You make mistakes because you’re human; spoiler alert. You could forget to have dinner tonight. You might arrive home from work later than you anticipated. Whatever it was, you made a simple error that has no effect. What is her response?

One typical response is to joke about the mistake. She might make fun of you for making a mistake, but she wouldn’t criticize you. All of us have been there.

However, if she’s trying to sabotage the relationship, she can take the chance to dramatize the situation. She might initiate a debate on the subject rather than letting sleeping dogs lie. It is a childish response. She might not even be conscious of what she is doing. She’s looking for ways to exploit your weaknesses against you.

7- sometimes becomes cold or reserved

When she generally talks a lot, she will suddenly go quiet. It frequently occurs when you speak with other friends about past social encounters or your excitement for future activities. Are you sure you don’t want to go hang out with X friend instead today? is one of the questions she frequently asks. She denies doing anything wrong when you ask what’s wrong. Then, after some time spent on her own, she resumes her normal state.


8- She Distances Herself from You, Disappears, then Unexpectedly Reappears

When women try to sabotage relationships, inconsistency is a constant. There’s a big possibility that your romance has been tumultuous, as I’ve already mentioned. You can discover that you have arguments every day or every week. What does she do when that happens?

While excellent women will try to understand the issue and cooperate with you to find a solution, she will likely take a different approach. You might observe that she tries to distance herself from you because she wants to sabotage the relationship.

Usually, the radio quiet lasts for a few days or weeks. Then…*poof*. She has suddenly returned to your life. She will text you secret messages about having a difficult day at work.

Or maybe she’ll suddenly invite you out this weekend. Your toxic and unstable on-again, off-again relationship is suddenly back together.

If we return to point one, we can see what she is doing here. She’s ending the relationship by occasionally ghosting you and treating you rudely. That indicates that she is not required to settle down and be serious with you.

9- Anytime you argue, she’ll claim it’s over

What happens when two people fight? Does she penetrate with all her might? Where does she strike you that hurts the most? The worst part is that she tells you what you’ve been dreading: “We’re over!”

She may want to end the relationship whenever you disagree on something. It is a huge red flag. She isn’t dealing with disagreements in an emotionally responsible manner.

She jumps to its conclusion before giving the relationship a chance to start. That reveals her insecurity, reluctance to commit, mistrust, and immaturity in romantic relationships. It’s a specific prescription for tragedy.

Signs She is Sabotaging Your Relationship
Signs She is Sabotaging Your Relationship

10- She Kept Her Eyes on the Exit

Once more, even minor acts that show your partner doesn’t value your relationship might be deadly. She is constantly looking for a way out since she is sure nothing will turn out well. Prepared with a backup strategy in case things fall apart (as they will eventually if no efforts are made to allow things to grow). 

Half-truths can be found in threats and jokes about breaking up, such as “she’ll be alright if you split up” or “she’s anticipated things to blow up at any second.” Therefore, she has stored energy and resources to cope without this relationship.

How to Deal with a Self-Sabotaging Partner

A lot of relationship counsel recommends leaving at the first sign of trouble. It makes sense to flee from a distance if someone acts like this. Because many unstable, emotionally manipulative individuals behave in this manner. The same is true for attention-seekers or drama.

However, this form of counsel assumes malicious intent or unresolvable disagreement. Although it’s possible, it’s more likely that she’s anxious and confused.

You must conduct your investigation. Give the girl a chance to make things right if you care about her and believe her actions may be motivated by insecurity rather than bad intentions.

Making excuses for someone you love is simple. However, they’re consistently attempting to undermine you. You cannot justify how they treat you if you want to grow and thrive.

What will you do now that you know she’s sabotaging your relationship? It would help if you acted now that you’ve identified an issue. You don’t want to continue being in a volatile and toxic relationship unless you’re a masochist.

1- Decide Whether You Want to Keep the Relationship

Do you want to save this relationship? asks the obvious question. Is she worth it if you are putting in all of your efforts and she is trying to sabotage you at every turn?

You are the one man who can know the solution. It makes sense to work on the relationship if she is the “one” and you are aware of your compatibility. Your relationship with her may be valuable; you should work things out as a team.

2- Communicate

Communication is crucial when you’re ready to handle a scenario like this. By remaining mute or being passive-aggressive, you didn’t change anything. Be upfront and vocal in explaining to your partner the need for the sabotaging behaviors to end, advises Catchings. “Be honest and talk to your partner about what you see, think, and feel.” Be explicit when asking for the help you require. If your partner doesn’t understand your needs, try communicating things differently.

Talk openly about the connection and try to understand as much as possible. If your partner is willing to discuss the issues, ask about the causes. The first step is always to understand the more basic flaws.

3- Be Patient and Understanding

Keep in mind that you’re probably not the issue. Your partner genuinely struggles to build a connection based on trust and belief. She can unintentionally act against her conscious desires. She might genuinely want a relationship with you but cannot get past her barriers. She might have previously experienced emotional trauma or mental health problems. Try to comprehend, have patience, and offer support if you can.

4- Think about Seeking Professional Assistance or Therapy

With professional assistance, you can repair the relationship. Couples therapy can help in this situation. Working with a qualified coach or therapist can resolve this common relationship problem.

You can explore the reasons behind her misbehavior, find solutions to your problems, and build a satisfying relationship.

Signs She is Sabotaging Your Relationship
Signs She is Sabotaging Your Relationship

Psychology of Women Behind Relationship Sabotaging

There are reasons why some women sabotage relationships before they even get started. She might have suffered a grave injustice at the hands of an ex., making the breakup difficult and cruel. She is trying to avoid commitment because she doesn’t want to go through that trauma again.

Her tendency to sabotage herself might have started in childhood. She could be hesitant to emulate her parents if they had a tense relationship when she was growing up. Adults who had a tough childhood sometimes struggle to maintain emotionally healthy relationships.

She may have encountered the following situation: Her father usually went out with other women and physically assaulted her mother. Her mother was unsure of how to handle the situation and defend herself. She then started drinking.

Her parents failed to care for her needs because they could not manage their relationship. She needed to receive the proper amount of parenting and witness a successful example of a loving relationship. Is it any wonder, then, that she wrecks her plans?

You can overcome her undermining behavior once you let go of the notion that it has anything to do with you. If she’s worth it, you can consider strategies for controlling the behavior and fostering her personal development. No love relationship is simple, though.



No amount of wishing will help if she’s sabotaging the relationship. You won’t wake up one day and discover everything has returned to normal. No, you’ll need to lay some construction phases here.

Establishing a solid relationship that will help you move forward takes time. But it might happen for you if you’re prepared to put in the effort and pursue what you’re entitled to. When a relationship doesn’t work out for us, we usually forget we can change it.


How a woman sabotages a relationship?

She acts like she does and doesn’t want an exclusive relationship simultaneously. Despite her claims that she isn’t ready for exclusivity, she spends much time with you. However, she presents you to her family, friends, and coworkers despite her claim that she doesn’t desire anything serious.

Why do girls sabotage relationships?

People self-sabotage their relationships for various reasons, including fear, low self-esteem, problems with trust, unrealistic expectations, and poor relational skills. People use a variety of tactics, such as withdrawal, defensiveness, and criticizing their partners, to prevent feeling wounded in relationships.

What makes a girl toxic in a relationship?

It’s common for toxic girlfriends to demand perfection from their relationships and men. Even if they aren’t perfectionists, they frequently “lose it” when things don’t go as planned. Supper goes wrong, or a picnic gets rained out. A concert may be postponed.

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