Toxic Siblings After Parents’ Death: How to Set Boundaries and Reclaim Your Peace

Losing a parent is one of the hard things that can happen in life. And sadly, it’s not unusual for siblings to fight and fight with each other after their parents die. In some situations, siblings can become toxic, making it harder to overcome a loss. 

In this article, we’ll talk about how to set limits with toxic siblings after parents‘ death and how to regain your peace. Setting boundaries is important for your mental and emotional health, and it’s important to make sure that your relationships with your siblings don’t hurt your mental health.

Signs of Toxic Siblings After Parents’ Death

Toxic Siblings After Parents' Death
Toxic Siblings After Parents’ Death

Losing a parent is an emotionally challenging thing to go through, and it can put a strain on relationships between siblings. Some siblings, unfortunately, can become toxic siblings after parents’ death and act in ways that make it harder to get over a loss. If you think your sibling may be toxic after the death of your parents, here are some signs to watch out for:

1- Competition and Jealousy

Jealousy and competition are often signs of bad behavior between toxic siblings after parents’ death. Siblings can get jealous of each other’s relationships with their parents, possessions, or achievements. They might always try to beat each other or compete with each other, which can lead to fights and bitterness.

2- A Lack of Empathy

After parents’ death, toxic siblings might also act like they don’t care about their siblings. They might not care about or be sensitive to their siblings’ feelings. For example, they might say hurtful things about their siblings’ sadness or refuse to help them feel better.

3- Physical and Verbal Abuse

Abusive words and feelings are another sign of toxic behavior from a sibling. Siblings may talk badly about each other, call each other names, or put each other down. This kind of behavior can be hard on your feelings and may lead to long-term problems with your mental health.

4- Manipulations and Control

To get what they want, toxic siblings after parents’ death may also use tricks like manipulation and control. For example, they may try to trick their siblings into doing things for them, or they may try to control how their siblings deal with their grief or how they act around other family members.

It’s important to remember that these actions may only sometimes be on purpose. They might result from the stress and emotions associated with parental loss. But it’s still crucial to be aware of these things and set limits to keep yourself from getting hurt more.


Reasons for Toxic Siblings After Parents’ Death

Toxic Siblings After Parents' Death
Toxic Siblings After Parents’ Death

Losing a parent can be a trigger that brings up problems from childhood that haven’t been dealt with. It can cause fights and tension between siblings. Here are some reasons why siblings may not get along well after their parents die:

1- Inheritance Issues

Fighting over who gets what is one of the most common reasons for toxic relationships between siblings after their parents die. Siblings might disagree on dividing their parents’ estate, which could lead to fights and resentment between them. Some siblings may think they deserve a bigger share of the inheritance, which could lead to a power struggle and make things worse between them.

2- Unresolved Childhood Issues

Childhood events can seriously affect how siblings treat each other as adults, and the death of a parent can bring up old problems. For example, if one sibling was treated better than the other when they were young, the death of a parent may bring back feelings of anger and jealousy. Also, siblings may hold on to grudges and resentments from the past, which can make their relationship unhealthy.

3- Power Dynamic and Control

Power and control can also lead to bad relationships between siblings. For instance, one sibling might need to control the other and use manipulative methods. It can make the sibling who is being controlled feel angry and resentful, which can make the relationship between them worse.

Understanding why siblings can have bad relationships after their parents die is important. Communication, empathy, and understanding are all important parts of resolving conflicts and keeping relationships from becoming toxic.


How to Set Boundaries with Toxic Siblings After Parents’ Death

After your parents have died, dealing with toxic siblings can be complicated and emotionally draining. Setting limits is crucial to keep yourself safe and feel at peace again. You can set boundaries with toxic siblings by doing the following:

1- Identify the Issue

Step one in setting limits with toxic siblings after parents’ death is figuring out the issue. Be clear about the issue and how the behavior impacts your life.

2- Choose the Right Form of Communication

When dealing with toxic siblings after parents’ death, choosing the right way to talk to them is crucial. It is very important to talk in a way that makes you feel safe and at ease. It can happen through face-to-face conversations, phone calls, or even letters.

3- Stay Calm and Confident

When talking to toxic siblings, staying calm and firm is important. Do not get defensive or mean; focus on expressing your feelings clearly and directly.

4- Be Specific and Clear

Set clear limits and tell your siblings precisely what you expect from them. For example, if you don’t want your siblings to hurt you by saying hurtful things about your loss, make that clear.

5- Get the Help of a Mediator or Therapist

If talking to your siblings is hard, ask a mediator or therapist for help. They can advise on how to talk to each other and solve problems.

It can be hard to set boundaries with toxic siblings after parents’ death, but it’s important to do so to protect yourself and feel at peace again. Remember to put your health and happiness first, and if you need help, talk to trusted family members, friends, or professionals.

How to Reclaim Your Peace After Setting Boundaries

Toxic Siblings After Parents' Death
Toxic Siblings After Parents’ Death

After setting limits with toxic siblings after parents’ death, it’s important to take steps to get your peace back and put your health and happiness first. Here are a few suggestions:

1- Surround Yourself with Positive People

Keeping balance and positivity in your life can be helped by being around positive people who lift and support you. Find friends and family who make you happy and bring joy.

2- Practice Self-Care

Self-care is vital for your mental and emotional health. Do things that make you happy and calm you down, like exercise, meditation, or hobbies you like.

3- Get Help from Friends and Family

Lean on trusted family members and friends for help during this time. Sharing your thoughts and experiences with people you care about can help you feel better and less alone.

4- Focus on Forgiving and Letting Go

Forgiving and letting go of hurts from the past can be a powerful way to heal and find peace again. Even though it may be hard, try to let go of your anger or resentment toward your toxic siblings and focus on moving on.

Remember that setting limits with toxic siblings after parents’ death can be tricky, and if you need to, getting help from a professional is okay. You must prioritize your well-being and find peace to live a happy life.


Sources of Toxic Siblings After Parents’ Death

1- Lancer, D. (2016). Toxic siblings: How to spot an emotionally abusive sibling and what to do about it. Psychology Today. Obtained from

2- Seltzer, L. F. (2016). When a parent dies, children sometimes hurt each other. Psychology Today. Obtain from

3- Hamilton, N. (2017). Why do siblings fight? A new book looks into why siblings fight. The Observer. Retrieved from


Dealing with toxic siblings after your parents’ death can be complicated and emotionally draining. This article discussed the signs of bad relationships with siblings, why they happen, and how to set limits to protect yourself and feel at peace again.

We talked about how crucial it is to figure out the problem, choose the best way to talk about it, stay calm and assertive, be clear and specific, and ask for help from a mediator or therapist. We also talked about ways to get your peace back after setting boundaries, such as hanging out with positive people, taking care of yourself, getting help from friends and family, and focusing on forgiving and letting go.

Ultimately, we want you to put your health and happiness first and take steps to keep yourself safe from toxic relationships. By setting limits and focusing on your happiness, you can live a life free of the stress of toxic relationships and regain your peace.


What does a toxic sibling do?

A toxic sibling may show behaviors like jealousy, lack of empathy, verbal and emotional abuse, manipulation, and control that hurt the relationship with their other siblings.

Why do siblings fight after death of parents?

Siblings may fight after their parents die if there are problems with the inheritance, unresolved issues from their childhood, or problems with power and control.

What are the long term effects of toxic siblings?

The long-term effects of having a toxic sibling can include feeling anxious and depressed, having low self-esteem, and having trouble getting along with other family members.

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